February 2011
12 posts
3 tags
1 tag
“the past is history and the future is a mystery; today is a gift, that’s why...”
– some dude dating some bitch on Teen Mom 2 (not the baby daddy, JUST SOME DUDE SHE’S NOW DATING. people who speak almost exclusively in catchphrases and “isms” make me want to punch the person nearest to me in the face. also, i was doing that guy a favor by inserting a semicolon into his “quote;”...
2 tags
SUCK ON IT, BARON BAPTISTE
for several days now, i’ve been letting this man torture me. i have surprised myself with the scope and creativity of the rash of obscenities that have escaped my lips and flown toward the tv screen at his stupid, tanned, sculpted face.
his website has this to say:
For more than 20 years, Baron Baptiste has been an inspirational yoga teacher, author, and leader in the realm of...
2 tags
overheard
went to the bathroom at work, and there was a gaggle of drunk ladies offering some auditory entertainment:
“you guys, the handles you flush are GREEN, so you can see them at a RAVE! (……..) “GUYS. the handles are GREEEEEEEEEN. so you can see them at a raaaaaaavveeeee.”
“hurry UP, Angie!”
“hold ON, I’m putting something in my VAG, I have to be DELICATE!”
I’m left wondering two things:
when...
2 tags
3 tags
One more gratuitous post about Dave Holmes....for... →
I’m so excited to have found this project at the very beginning!!! So incredibly funny, I can’t even tell you. Just watch for yourself.
3 tags
tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
a conversation...
some guy: “can you call me a cab that I can put my bike in the back of?”
me: “oh, of course, no problem.”
some guy: “yeah, cause I just got hit by a car. and a bus.”
me: “WHAT?!”
some guy: (shows me his crumpled and bloody hand) “damn, and my son has a karate test today! I’ll just wrap it up until after that, it’ll be...
jack(jane?) of many trades...
today, i started my second new job in less than a week…and it got me thinking about all the jobs i’ve had in my life and how, if i don’t write them all down now, i might get old and start forgetting some. (deep breath) so, here goes:
babysitting (various times from the age of 12 on)
preteen-teen years-college: summer/christmas break/spring break employee at bc tool and...
