Dearest Celeb Media/America,
Please stop perpetuating the idea that little girls have to have long hair and pink nails that they don’t like messing up. I don’t know the man, and I can just about guaran-god-damn-tee you that Brad Pitt is not concerned about his daughter being bullied for her short hair. When you print headlines like this, you reinforce the idea that kids who break with gender norms are different/other, and that makes it more likely that they will be ostracized. THIS IS A FACT.
Positivitize. It’s 2012. Let’s all grow up, shall we?
no, silly, not that one you’re afraid of, that OTHER one you’re afraid of.
I put on no airs to disguise my Manson obsession. I love love LOVE Marilyn Manson. The band, the man, the empire. The above screencap was taken from the manson music video for the song “Putting Holes in Happiness,” from an album a lot of fans reject because it wasn’t “hard” enough, it was too “poppy.” I am a fan of what Marilyn Manson represents, and for that reason am not so quick to judge or jump ship when his music takes a turn for the different…
take a look at the above picture. that is a picture of marilyn manson, aka brian hugh warner, rolling around on the ground and singing self-indulgently. if THAT isn’t proof that the man isn’t truly the antichrist, I don’t know what is. he is/the band are human. practically every one of his music videos involves a setup where he is singing into a microphone with his band. folks, (and by “folks,” i mean the religious right), CHILL. this is a BAND. this is an ARTIST.
this is someone who wants people to think for themselves and think about why they believe what they do about the world. that is it, and that is all.
this is not someone who can convince people to kill themselves through the power of music. this is someone who writes about pain. if someone truly wants out of this world, they will find a reason. blaming bands like MM won’t prevent suicide.
i appreciate MM (the band, the man, the empire) for living life with a conviction and artistry most of us simply aren’t capable of. we need artists, people who live what they want the world to be.
i love you, marilyn manson. keep on truckin’. i fucking really am having trouble getting on board with the video for Born Villain, but i still love you. You have my loyalty, no matter how you decide to show me the world.
just like every other Tuesday night?
today, i went to my first day of training to volunteer with seniors. in the training, we talked about how important it is to be compassionate and patient, as many older folks have memory problems to varying degrees…
on the way home, i went to the grocery store, forgot that i’m not eating meat this week and bought a spaghetti and meatballs lean cuisine because it looked impossibly delicious.
i’m going to put that in the plus column toward understanding the minds of seniors. point one goes to ME.
that’s what volunteering is all about, right? winning?
so…tonight I tried something new…I went from this:
(funny gal, TIRED EYES gal, just worked all day ALL AMERICAN GAL)
and then I got REALLY carried away:
and finally, i realized i had taken it just a *little* too far…
oy. how does he do it?
oh, that’s right. like, professional makeup artists or whatever.
if i see ONE more casting notice for a girl who’s “gorgeous, a BOMBSHELL, the girl next door, every boy’s dream, guys want to be with her, girls want to BE HER”
“new to Hollywood/the L.A. scene, trying to achieve her dreams in Hollywood”
I’m gonna find the person who wrote it, go to their house, find their drum kit, and rub my scrote all over it Stepbrothers style
went for a long walk for coffee with my neighbor
finished reading an inflammatory acting book (inflammatory because it goes against absolutely EVERYTHING I have ever been taught)
signed up to volunteer with seniors in my community
took down my christmas tree (this was not hard, as it feels like SPRINGTIME in Hollywood right now)
did two loads of laundry
bought a ticket to see a live drag performance of showgirls tomorrow night
and later, i’m going to a workshop with one of the casting directors for parks and recreation and curb your enthusiasm
I just quit my job a few weeks ago (I worked as a valet for about a year and a half - some of the most fun of my life because of the people I worked with, and some of the most demeaned I’ve ever felt because of the customers). Tonight, I went to pick up my last tips and paycheck, and the first thing I heard from my friend Jeff was, “Hey!! I almost didn’t recognize you, you look like a GIRL, Kat!” To his credit, he is an incredibly nice guy. He wasn’t trying to be rude, he was just shocked to see me in street clothes because this is how I looked every day of that job:
I mean, good GOD!!! Look at those MAN pants! I look positively HIP-PY! For the record, these are actually MAN pants, as in, for men. Not lots of women do this job. Also for the record, I have no problem with androgyny, I think it’s sexy, but I have seen it done MUCH sexier than THIS.
I can also look like this:
To be fair, this was a couple of years ago and I don’t look like this every day. It isn’t photoshopped at ALL though, I do take pride in that.
My point is this: we expect so much of women. We expect them to look like women. Now, because I tend to place most of my self-worth on my sense of humor, I managed to feel awesome and yes, even sometimes sexy even when I was wearing khakis and a shapeless blue polo shirt. But tonight, I felt like it was my birthday when my guy friends (who are all like my brothers) were suddenly and unexpectedly having funny feelings about this gal who they basically thought of as their sister.
Do we depend so much on makeup and “girl” clothes to tell us when a woman is sexy? Oy. It’s exhausting. Which is why most of the time, I kind of just throw together whatever it is that I feel like wearing. Lucky for me, I have one of the most feminist, progressive boyfriends who thinks I’m beautiful absolutely no matter what i’m wearing.
Really lucky for me, because usually, I look something like this:
and he looks something like this:
John Keats was born on Halloween. How this escaped me before, I’ll never know, but I am overcome right now. Two of my favorite things have been merged since 1795.
the last few days have been a combination of extreme relaxation and big ol’ life changes…New Year’s Eve was a typical L.A. night - hopping along with your friends to a house party where one of you knows a few people and the rest of you know NO ONE. oh, and in typical L.A. fashion, the house is NICE. i’m not sure if this is how things go down in New York, but in L.A. you can be working a few minimum wage jobs just to get by and living in an old and musky apartment with a roommate to save money (which, by the way, costs as much as your friends’ MORTGAGES back home) - but someone you know knows someone approximately your age who owns a house worth more than your life. look how happy we are:
(from left: Chris, me, Alec)
New Years Day, I got called in to Universal Studios for a shift as Kimberley Duncan - I promise you I’m not angry, I’m just in character:
as you can see, this lighting is perfect for highlighting split ends, and as you can blurrily not see, there is a copy of Wizard and Glass on the table behind me…nothing like Stephen King to make an already great day fucking amazing. also, two days prior to my taking this picture, Marshall came to watch my show. he’s a good friend.
today, i started a new work/life situation - i’m back at BC Tool and Carbide, Inc., the family business. weeeeeeeeeee!
my parents are tossing this bone at me so i can have the time and money to go to the class i’m taking tomorrow night. i’m here to be an actor, dag NABBIT. thanks, parental units, if you’re reading this - i literally wouldn’t be here without you.
and finally, Alec and i kicked our heels up (no, but really!) for yet another Party Down mini-marathon. the only bad thing about this show is that a few mini-marathons, and it’s all over! it has gone the way of
the dodo Arrested Development.
Are We Having FUN Yet?
some of the things i did in 2011:
vaudeville/burlesque (see above picture). professional modeling. professional dancing. professional acting. professional SINGING. oh man. when i really think about it, what a year. and wow, my alec:
i am so full of love for this man who, when i first met him, was still a boy. we’ve known each other for about 9 years now, and we’re kind of slowly building a life together. it really doesn’t suck.
i’m so thankful for my family, and my friends, and everything about this often ugly world. i think my world would be darker were it not for stephen king and marilyn manson, two people the world seems to paint as dark. for me, they are shining lights.
here’s to a grand and fulfilling new year. i hope if you are reading this, you will take to heart what i am about to say:
you are wonderful, and special, and important. put your unique energy into the world this year; we desperately need it. say hello to that person you see tomorrow that you accidentally lock eyes with; we’re all in this together.
you are love, and full of love, and loved. if no one else loves you, i love you. because you are part of all of this.
so long, 2011.